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Event planning means never having to say you’re sorry

Posted on Mar 2, 2013 by in Us

We’re 7 weeks out from the big day.

Or as I like to call it… OHMYGODWEWILLNEVERGETEVERYTHINGDONEINTIME!!!!

Deep breath.

Okay, better.

See I’ve planned a lot of elaborate events over the years and I’ve directed a lot of theatrical productions, so none of this event planning is foreign to me.  That doesn’t make it any less stressful.  I really do understand how men and women, who have never done anything like this before, lose their damn heads.  I am not losing my damn head, but I am quietly and quickly checking everything off the to-do list and making sure we have the majority of our ducks in a row before you nice people show up.

Some of you may care about what I’m going to post about next – some of you may not – but here’s how we’re looking thus far:

Wednesday: Crawford and I get the keys to the Cedar House. We get to spend that day and the evening wandering around and starting at things and then staring at each other.  I will jump up and down and clap my hands a lot. Crawford will take a lot of pictures.  We will take a nap in the hammock down by the water.

Thursday: Members of the wedding and planning committee will arrive to stare at things and then stare at me and Crawford. We will move the three grills on the deck to a different location. We will position trash cans and hang some lights. We will begin to drink beer around 3 and not stop.  We will swim in the pool.

Friday: All hell breaks loose. The tables, chairs, linens, tent (?), platforms, and petting zoo arrive. (One of those things isn’t going to happen, sorry). The corntoss and bocce areas are set up, the ceremony area is groomed for possible ant piles, dead sea birds, beach bums, etc. Out of town guests and members of the reverie committee are invited to join us starting at 5:30 for a Cuban feast and timed decoration competitions. We will play pool, tell stories, sit in the hot tub, laugh, catch up, and stay up past our bedtimes.

Saturday: THE BIG DAY. Most importantly – the guest of honor will arrive. You’ll smell that the minute you get out of your cars. Y’all will be escorted by a licensed professional to the ceremony area. Wear comfortable footwear, we have covered this in previous posts, we will not tell you again. Before you have a seat – grab a beverage and a goodie bag.  You’ll find out why during the ceremony.

At some point Crawford and his friends will mosey on out and say hello, then my friends will mosey on out and say hello, and then I’ll arrive. (It will actually look like this).

We’ll be married by this guy and this gal who were ordained by this reputable organization.  We’ll exchange rings made by this guy, and we’ll finish up with something like this.

Then it’s time to tie up your bibs, grab some wet-naps, wait in line patiently and load up your plates! Afterwards we’ll play yard games, bash the hell out of a wedding piñata, hang out, eat cake and take naps in the hammock.  Eventually Crawford and I will leave to “start our life together” and you all are welcome to spend the night in the yard, or on an appropriate sleeping surface in the house. Please leave by 11 a.m. Sunday, we have to give the place back.

That’s what you’re in for… we hope you’re excited about it.

We certainly are…