The Hybrid

My masters is in Communication. My advisor, Art Bochner, is probably one of the greatest interpersonal communication scholars in the world.

He taught a class, Communication in Close Relationships, and I absolutely adored it. One of the things that I took away from that seminar was the idea that two people in a relationship form a third person – a meta creature that takes on a little from one partner and a little from another partner.

You know what I’m talking about; you live with these “third persons” everyday.  It’s the Delightful Individuals Insufferable Couple Syndrome (DIICS).

Fortunately, Crawford and I do not suffer from DIICS. At least I hope not. I mean, we might be a little huggy-bear-kissy-face sometimes, but some of that is the long distance relationship challenge, some of it is the fact that we are demonstrative with each other, and some of it is we really can’t believe we get to be together and so we awkwardly pet each other to ensure that we aren’t dreaming.

We may not be DIICS, but we do form a third person.  I don’t know if I can describe that person other than the Crawford/Kari Hybrid is funnier than me and smarter than me. The Hybrid doesn’t finish sentences; the Hybrid says things at the exact same time. The Hybrid sees the same things along the side of the road, the same person in a crowded room, the same minute detail in a field of vision.

The Hybrid is my best self and my best friend’s best self.

Art Bochner taught me well, he taught me to look at the third person in a relationship. He taught me that sometimes two people form something bigger than themselves.  Sometimes two people form something smaller than themselves.

And sometimes, if you’re really lucky, two people form something that is just right.